How to make affirmations a daily habit

To make affirmations a daily habit, tie one short line to something you already do every day, and say it right after. Keep it tiny, keep it where you'll see it, and don't panic when you miss a day. That's most of it.

The good news is that this is one of the easiest habits there is, because it can take less than a minute. The rest of this guide is about making it so small and so well placed that you barely have to think about it.

1. Attach it to something you already do

New habits hold on best when they ride on old ones. Pick an anchor that already happens every day, then say your line straight after it:

• After I switch off my alarm, I say my line.
• While the kettle boils, I say my line.
• After I brush my teeth at night, I say my line.

Be specific. "In the morning" is vague. "When I sit down with my first cup of tea" is a moment you'll actually notice.

2. Make it tiny

One line, said twice, counts as the whole practice. You can do more on a good day. But the version you promise yourself should be small enough to manage on your worst one.

3. Choose a short list, not a library

Pick three to five lines that feel true enough to say. Use one a day, or the same one all week. Need a starting point? Borrow from our morning affirmations, or keep a couple of affirmations for hard days in your pocket for the rough mornings. Not sure which kind of line suits you today? Our affirmation quiz takes about a minute.

4. Put it where you'll see it

Out of sight really is out of mind for the first few weeks. A few easy spots:

• A sticky note on the bathroom mirror or the fridge.
• Your phone's lock screen.
• A gentle daily reminder set for the time of your anchor.
• A small card in your wallet, bag or car.

5. Say it, don't just read it

It's easy to read a line on autopilot. Saying it out loud, even in a whisper, slows you down, and words you say aloud tend to be remembered better. We explain the research behind that in do affirmations work? If speaking isn't possible where you are, write the line once instead.

6. Keep track lightly

A small tick on a calendar is plenty. You're just checking that you're showing up. You're not building a streak you'll be scared to break.

7. How long does it take to build the habit?

Longer than the popular "21 days", and missed days matter less than you'd think. A 2010 study at University College London, led by Phillippa Lally, followed 96 volunteers who each picked one eating, drinking or exercise habit to do every day at the same point, such as after breakfast. It took about 66 days on average for the habit to feel automatic, but the range was huge: from 18 days to a predicted 254.

The part worth remembering is this: missing a single day didn't make a real difference. So if you miss one, just pick it up tomorrow. No making up for it, and no guilt. (The study looked at habits like eating, drinking and exercise rather than affirmations, but a one-line habit is about as small as they come.)

8. Refresh your lines when they go flat

After a few weeks, a line can start to feel like wallpaper. That usually means it has done some of its job. Swap it for a new one, or rewrite it to fit where you are now. Our guide to writing your own affirmations makes that quick.

A simple one-week plan

1. Day 1: choose your anchor and write down three lines.
2. Days 2 to 6: after your anchor, say one line twice, out loud if you can.
3. Day 7: notice which line you liked most. Keep it, and swap out one you didn't.

Where Kind to Me helps

Kind to Me can send you a daily line as a reminder, at times you choose. You can save the lines you like to your favourites, with ten saves on the free plan. When you want more than one line, the Say It With Me practice walks you through a few to repeat out loud. If bedtime is your anchor, our bedtime affirmations are a gentle place to start, and you can always grab a fresh kind line of the day.